Salamatak – Newly Weds

Indicators of a Healthy Relationship

One of the biggest mistakes many couples make is having certain expectations for how their marriage is going to be or ‘should’ be. These expectations are usually built on comparisons of other marriages. Couples must understand that each relationship is unique in its own way and no two relationships are similar. Instead, build your marriage on these key indicators of a healthy relationship: 

1-Disagreements are inevitable: 

It is normal for couples to argue over things from time to time. But a healthy relationship is based on respect and trust, which means that a disagreement shouldn’t change the way you treat or feel about your spouse. Remember that it is not you two against each other, but both of you against the problem. 

2-Compromises are sometimes necessary: 

In certain situations, a compromise might be the only solution to a disagreement. A happy couple understands that by compromising we might not get what we want, but the person we love will. Compromises can be as little as choosing what to eat that night, or big such as choosing to live in a different city so your spouse can live near their family. 

3-Spending quality time with each other: 

If you notice that your marriage has fallen into a dull routine try to change things up by doing a fun activity together such as watching a movie or having a picnic. 

4- Communication is vital: 

When the word ‘communication’ comes to our minds, we often think of chatting or talking to each other. But the communication we mean here is being able to ‘communicate’ your anger, frustration, and emotions to your spouse in a healthy way. That means avoiding hurtful words and insults or bottling your emotions. Instead, do your best to express those feelings to your spouse in a loving, kind way. 

The Five Love Languages 

The Five Love Languages has become a popular topic in recent years, especially when it comes to relationships. The Five Love Languages is based on a book written in 1992 by Dr. Gary Chapman which sold over 11 million copies in English and was translated to 49 other languages. In brief, the book explains how people speak different languages to express their love. The language you speak (to express your love) may be different from the language your partner speaks. This causes misunderstandings between spouses which lead them to think that their relationships are loveless when in fact, they have been speaking different love languages. The Five Love Languages are: 

1-Words of Affirmation: 

People who speak this language value verbal acknowledgment of affection. Hearing words such as “You matter to me”, “I love you”, and “I care about you” matters to them. 

2-Physical Touch: 

Physical touch is a major language for many people. It includes all forms of touch such as hugging or holding hands. 

3- Gift Giving: 

This language is self-explanatory. People who speak this language value gifts, such as flowers, jewelry, or any other kind of gift big or small. 

4-Acts of Service: 

People whose language is ‘Acts of Service’ believe that actions speak louder than words. They care about being shown affection in ways such as cooking for them or doing something they would do themselves such as cleaning or caring for the kids. 

5-Quality Time: 

 People who speak the language of ‘Quality Time’ appreciate being able to spend time with their loved ones doing fun activities. They care about little details such as eye contact and having your full undivided attention. 

Men Vs. Women 

It is often said that women and men speak different languages. This difference causes a lot of miscommunication between the two genders. This misunderstanding can be avoided if both genders understood how the other gender communicates: 

Tips for Newly Weds 

1-Learn how to best communicate with your spouse, and avoid shouting, or using passive-aggressive comments when expressing your dissatisfaction. Instead, sit your spouse down and have an honest heart-to-heart talk to resolve any issues. 

2-Be realistic with your expectations and demands. Do not pressure your spouse to change and adjust to marriagehood immediately. Instead, allow them to grow into their new selves with your love and support. 

3-Build your relationship on trust and respect. Many couples fall into the mistake of prioritizing love over anything else. But a healthy marriage is based on trust and respect, not only love. 

4-Consider the first year of your marriage the year you learn more about your spouse, yourself, and each other. What you learn in this year will be the basis of your marriage in the future. 

5-Do not completely forsake your independence. In the beginning, you might feel like you want to spend every moment with your spouse. But a healthy relationship is a relationship that allows each spouse to be their true selves. Do not be upset if your spouse wishes to spend some time away with friends or family, and remember, ’Absence makes the heart grow fonder’.